Soon to be renowned!

Sunday, April 3, 2016

Farmer's Tan in T-Minus 5 ... 4 ... 3 ...

ll right people, welcome back. It's been a long Winter. I know it's early, but you all saw the forecast; we may not get another shot at this for two months. That's right, we have the green light for Farmer's Tan, Stage 1. Let's see some lines on those arms! Everyone to your stations, give me status.

Skin tone, do we have Winter pale?

Skin tone, pale like the moon,we are go.

Weather, show me mid-60's.

Weather, 67ºF. Toasty. We are go.


Sunshine, three straight days, we are definitely go.

Shirt sleeves?

Shedding outer three layers … 3 … 2 … 1 and we now have short sleeves. We are go.


Eight hour shifts, outside. As always … we've been here all Winter. Rain or shine. Mostly rain. We are go.

Cut the chatter, Exposure, no one likes a whiner. Gloves?

Come on, people, do we have work gloves or not? Let's see some glove lines, I want this tan to look ridiculous. GLOVES—!

Gloves! We have gloves, they were in the wrong drawer. Sorry, Gloves are go.

Don't scare me like that.

All right now, steady as she goes … good, there's no reason we can't get some neck lines going, too. Beautiful. Aaaand … stop! Okay folks, let's go home to assess.

Shirt removal in 3 … 2 … 1

<Applause, laughter, cheers, sobbing>

That's it! We did it! We have achieved Farmer's Tan, Stage 1. Good work, everybody. I knew we could do it! Looking good!

Okay, thanks for your hard work, everyone, we'll see you back here later on for FT Stage 2, Shorts and Socks. Target temperature 75ºF.


1 comment:

  1. The best part is when you get the rare chance to go to a normal beach scene with said FT!! It is so much fun to show it off to all those brown-all-over folks who think THEY are the cool ones. HA!!