The Five Kales Summoned

The Five Kales aligned.

It is written:

When the five great houses of kale

Are summoned from every corner of the garden

(And I guess one from the middle somewhere)

In the dead of night

In the Winter cold

Together upon a single altar

Then will the feast of five deliciousnesses begin

And confer to the faithful gardener

(whom many mocked for his steadfast pursuit of kalish perfection)

Fortune and immortality and yumminess.

Call forth the five kales!

'Tuscan Baby Leaf', O mighty dwarf! Say YUM!

'Scarlet x Lacinato', son of two ancient tribes! Say YUM!

'Wild Russian', untamed and unsurpassed! Say YUM!

'Tronchuda Beira', Portuguese behemoth! Say YUM!

'Cosmic', radiant sentinal! Say YUM!

And now, let the five great kales

Be simmered in juices savory

For an epoch

Or until tender and reduced to quintessence

Or about half an hour

And at long last let the gardener

Eat his weird meal

And it was so. And it was good.