Soon to be renowned!

Tuesday, December 6, 2016

The Five Kales Summoned

The Five Kales aligned.

It is written:

When the five great houses of kale
Are summoned from every corner of the garden
(And I guess one from the middle somewhere)
In the dead of night
In the Winter cold
Together upon a single altar
Then will the feast of five deliciousnesses begin
And confer to the faithful gardener
(whom many mocked for his steadfast pursuit of kalish perfection)
Fortune and immortality and yumminess.

Call forth the five kales!
'Tuscan Baby Leaf', O mighty dwarf! Say YUM!
'Scarlet x Lacinato', son of two ancient tribes! Say YUM!
'Wild Russian', untamed and unsurpassed! Say YUM!
'Tronchuda Beira', Portuguese behemoth! Say YUM!
'Cosmic', radiant sentinal! Say YUM!

And now, let the five great kales
Be simmered in juices savory
For an epoch
Or until tender and reduced to quintessence
Or about half an hour
And at long last let the gardener
Eat his weird meal

And it was so. And it was good.

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