Soon to be renowned!

Sunday, January 15, 2017


Whew! Okay, uh … sorry, just had a mini freak out when I started thinking about all the off-season gardening tasks on the docket for Fencebroke this Winter. But, if there's one thing I've learned from my brilliant wife over the years, it's that there's not a problem in the world too overwhelming to be solved—or at least put off for a few more minutes—by making a list. So here goes …

*Prune fruit trees
*Design and build small greenhouse out of existing materials
*Install new cinderblock border for veggie bed; plant strawberries in cinderblock holes
*Throw away old, expired seeds
*Buy new seeds
*Stifle guilt of once again buying too many seeds
*Build support for raspberries planted last year
*Find and re-bury treasure
*Dig new bed for planting quinoa; use sod thus lifted to start a new squash mound
*Figure out why the @##$^& I can't seem to grow potatoes
*Finish planting and edging existing ornamental beds
*Conduct mass funeral for all the plants that didn't make it this year
*Clean out rain barrels
*Find a way to market my book in China; learn Mandarin
*Dig-up and relocate at least 75% of so-called “permanent” plantings; after careful consideration, replant at least 50% of those back in the same spot they came from.
*Pot-up container plantings
*Clean out fire pit; burn all incriminating documents
*Plan edible plantings for the year in order to maximize nutrition, yield, variety, flavor, preservation, kid-friendliness, and length of growing season; give up and just wing it.
*Instill in offspring a lasting sense of harmony and connection to the Earth through the thoughtful cultivation of its soil; give up and put on Daniel Tiger instead.
*Find a way to share this year's harvest with those in need
*Prune dead limbs on trees in front yard
*Make garden more bird-friendly
*Make garden less cat-friendly
*Make garden more gardener-friendly
*Re-do and expand back patio for better—

—You know what? This isn't helping at all. I can't even … I don't know where to … and the ground is still frozen … and the kids won't ever nap at the same time and—

All right, I've got a new, simplified list:

*Stay inside
*Drink coffee
*Play video games

Check, check, and … check. Turns out my wife was on to something.

1 comment:

  1. You need to look guiltily out the window while drinking the coffee.