|A still life for sanity. Yes, I made the crane ... do you doubt my skills?|
What's a body to do? It's January. It's cold, dark, and dismal. The clouds hunch lower and lower in the sky until they collapse in a stupor and splat to the Earth with a great wet <plop> that will echo until June. The sun is a mythical beast. The family is restless, its father useless. The walls are closing in. The garden is ... well, it doesn't matter what the garden is because no one's stepping outside to find out. So how does the resourceful gardener stay sane in the off-season? Exercise? Pfff! NCAA hoops? I just ... no. Binge-watching old Star Trek episodes? Well, maybe. Hibernation? Tried that, I can't make myself sleep in past 5am. Or until 5am. Or for more than an hour at a time, anytime. Actually, what's the opposite of hibernation?
Don't worry, thanks to your pals .. er, pal ... okay, weird garden guy at Fencebroke Promontory, you won't have to resort to any of those soul-sucking pastimes. Lucky for you, I've compiled a handy-dandy list of meaningful, engaging activities to keep the northern-latitude gardener and family man sharp and productive right through the soggy gut of Winter. Next time you're feeling antsy, just throw a dart at this list and consider yourself occupied!
No ... you know what, don't throw a dart. Sharp projectiles and digital devices don't mix well and I don't want to be held responsible for any broken screens. Just look at the darn list and choose for yourself.
On with the list!
The list is as follows:
Winter Activities For The Boreal Gardener (A List)
1.) Make a list.
4.) Make a fresh pot of coffee
5.) Drink a fresh pot of coffee
6.) Get sick
7.) Take care of your family when they get sick
8.) Get to know your pediatrician
9.) Start remodeling your kitchen!
10.) Stay up all night with sick kids
11.) Learn how to remodel your kitchen
12.) Cook dinner with a microwave
13.) Does anyone know a good contractor?
14.) Consider getting sick again
15.) Talk about a book you want to read
16.) Hear about a film you want to see
17.) Binge-watch old Star Trek episodes
18.) Um ... origami?
19.) Hey, didn't we used to have a kitchen?
20.) Go smell the witch hazel
22.) Listen to the wind-chimes
23.) Deep breath
24.) Seed catalogs
25.) It's going to be okay
There you have it, feel free to use as many of these ideas as you want. You'll likely find some more engaging than others, but rest assured I've thoroughly tested all of them for merit. All I can say is: thank god for seed catalogs.
... Yes, and Star Trek.