And the award for
Fencebroke's first blossom goes to … Hardired Nectarine! Sorry,
dandelions, you've been disqualified for stuffing the ballot box.
Despite being
recently planted and heavily pruned, this plucky nectarine dug deep
and produced no fewer than three of these gorgeous flowers (also no
more than three, but that's
beside the point). Since this is at least three times the production
I was expecting this first year, I have consequently adjusted the
projected growth of FPG's nectarine division upward. Assuming a
yearly growth of 300%, I have concluded that, within a few years, my
wife and I should be able to quit our dayjobs, support our family,
and lead lives of elegant excess (in fact, we have appointments with
several fine haberdashers and milliners this weekend; it's about time
our hats reflect our projected lifestyle!)—all on the output of
this one phenomenal nectarine tree!
We
are now accepting pre-orders for crates of Fencebroke nectarines,
although I must warn you that our entire projected crop of 2020 has
been set aside for the state of California, which has prudently
decided to import our fruit rather than compete.
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