Blurb

Soon to be renowned!

Monday, February 24, 2014

Clearance Event!

One week only! Special clearance event!
Save up to 100% on select dead and dying annuals, perennials and shrubs!
For a limited time, Fencebroke Promontory Gardens is offering unheard of closeouts on surplus and rejected nursery stock.
Picture yourself taking home one of these gorgeous, frostbit Euphorbias, only slightly dead! Not your cup of tea? Well, who wouldn't want this semi-not-so-hardy Loropetalum, now for a low low price of get-it-out-of-my-sight! Here, take 6 of them!
Whole flats of lovely groundcovers at fire-sale price. No, they weren't in a fire, they're just dead, Dead DEAD!
Or try one of our mystery packages: a handpicked assortment of unidentifiable bare twigs and dead leaf mush. You'll always wonder what these beauties used to be!
Our owner is out of his mind, but now you, the customer, can benefit from his inability to stop bringing home dozens of doomed plants from work! He thinks they'll pop right back when it warms up again! He's wrong! These plants are stone dead, every last one, and now they can be yours!
Flats of dead plants make a lovely addition to any yard. Line them up along the fence. Forget about them on the side of your house. Leave them in the garage! It doesn't matter, these plants won't know the difference because — you guessed it — they're dead! Tell your spouse they're just dormant. HAHA! They're not!
Come in early for doorbusters: buy-1-get-30-free deals on everyone's favorite New Zealand failures: Hebes, Coprosma and Phormium, oh my! What were we thinking!?
These ferns were supposed to be hardy! Beautiful when alive, there's no reason to expect otherwise when dead! Take them, please!
Save big on permanently deciduous Fuchsias!
Rotted? Frozen? Diseased? Neglected? We specialize in all types of unwanted merchandise; if it belongs in the yard waste bin, you'll find it here!
Folks, you just can't beat the savings when you buy dead. Don't waste your time paying the markup at retail garden centers for live product, here at Fencebroke, we offer no frills, no hope gardening at its finest—not to mention cheapest!
Hurry on by, these prices won't last!

1 comment:

  1. Its funny, because it's true. Its also really fun to collect other people's dead/dying houseplants that never quite recover

    ReplyDelete