Oh sing in me, deep fires of the Earth.
Make your home in Fencebroke, within the new cauldron I have—er, the cauldron my wife has assembled for thee.
<Dragging of firepit across the lawn>
Come forth and feed upon my humble offering.
<Crumpling of newspaper and pizza coupons>
Crackle and roar into this garden. Unleash timeless inferno and blaze!
<Repeated striking of matches>
… Inferno and blaze—
<Rummaging in drawer. Flicking of lighter>
Ha! Inferno and blaze!
Good enough! Bring forth the hot dogs! Mmmwahahaaaa!
Anyone? Hey, could someone bring forth the hot dogs? They're right there, in the fridge.
<Slumping of shoulders>
Fine, never mind, I'll get them myself.
<Muttering under breath >
POLISH DOGS!!! MWAHAHA—hey, what happened to the timeless inferno … ?
<Raining raining rainrainraining for four more months>
Timeless inferno! Can I pencil you in for early June? Wonderful. And so, let the feast of a thousand cold hot dogs begin!
<Sifting through ashes>
Dangit, where's that pizza coupon?